Somewhere around St. George, probably where the Mojave Desert reaches the furthest fingers of herself into Utah, the energy changes. Somewhere on the 15 going south all my energy came back to me. Driving across Nevada to glimmering Las Vegas was like skating on ice. If ice was a concrete road and the skates were high performance tires.
Then the last hours through a dark and smoky preserve. For the first time in my life as we entered the preserve, I felt fear. It had been months since I drove these roads, and the last time, driving like my regular bat out of hell until the bumper faceplanted a roadrunner just south of Kelso Dunes. The road looked more cracked and gnarled than I remembered, and for the first time in my life I though, I need to reduce my speed. Seriously, who am I becoming? Reducing my speed, feeling fear going into the desert on a dark and smoky night with surprise thunderstorms that might wash out the roads. Maybe it's just life experience.
There's another change in my energy too. That I have it. Since April, my energy has been net increasing. I have finally hit on the upward trajectory, net positive in health recovery, with two new cyborg knees! The feeling is amazing, the pleasure to be able to walk without fear of pain. I can even out hike my dogs!
I felt the recovery was going slow, and this annoyed me. Despite getting these gains at 7300 ft - it is notoriously more challenging to recovery or train at altitude. A weekend sip of 5000 air in Santa Fe resulted in my first 20k step day in years. Back here at almost sea level in the Mojave Desert, I spend my mornings doing hours of yard work at 90 degree heat (sweating profusely) but so energized, high off the oxygen I previously took for granted.
There's a reason Olympians train in Colorado Springs. You might think you suck there (at 7k+ elevation) but come down a few and the air and energy goes on and on and on. And with the utter darkness, where I can't even see my hand in front of my face in my bedroom, and the silence, not even a coyote howl, just Joe's rhythmic snoring, and Pebbles demure "ha-rumphr" at 3am interrupt my slumber.
It's good to be back here, to be present in the heat. Connect with the lush desert I have created with money and water and my hands. To see Mr. Roadrunner this morning in person, checking me out as if to ask, who is this human on my land? He was smaller in person than on the wildlife cam.
]]>
Then to do research. And unleash possibilities. The reality happened to many people, and they experienced it in their own ways, with the diverse experience that humanity has. You, as the writer, start to detail your draft. You set the structure up for maximum audience satisfaction without being formulaic. You blend characters, the conflicts reveal themselves to you. And you start to move on at a clip, filling in the pieces of the draft, writing scenes. And then, damn it, you pull back camera, and it all seems so damn cliche.
Somehow in the crafting, the edgy emotional feeling has gotten left out, or rather, the emotion left feels rather trite and cliched. This will not do! Maybe it's just good enough to use this writing as an excuse for practice, and keep slogging a bit. I think, stories like this might have to sit on the shelf for a bit. It took me two years of the idea rattling around in my head to even get this far.
But then, this morning, exactly when I was thinking of the cliched current state, I open a key text resource (received over the weekend) and open the autobiography to the chapter that covers what my story attempts to cover and three pages in feel revitalized, the conflicts fresh, the ruthlessness, simply, cleanly there on the page. The acknowledgement of devastation and moral outrage triggered. There is a fresh perspective for me to mine here. An unapologetic villain is exactly what I need.
]]>I haven't thought of Aeon Flux in a while. I've gotten older. I indulge my introversion. I've done most everything I set out to do... over and over. I could only barely pull off my Aeon Flux costume 20-30 years ago. I dare not even try now (even though I still have my custom made velvet costume and 6 inch thigh high stiletto heels - and I'm back in the gym and pilates studio.) A few days ago, a friend tagged me on a FB post with Aeon Flux pics and something caught my eye.
Her knee cap braces.
Now, admittedly that was one thing I couldn't figure out how to fabricate in the late 90s/early 00s, so I left those off. In fact, I had kind of forgotten the accessory. But, in my mind, even though these were clearly external to her body, I somehow thought they were extensions of her actual knees - like an embedded implant or something. Fast forward to today.
Where I now have two bionic knees.
Seeing Aeon's knee cap braces caused a rush of emotion in me. Like, how could I have forgotten that, especially when I was going bionic myself!! It was as if, I have become a part of my role model of 20 years ago.
]]>Horror is my least favorite genre. It's not a film style I search out and I have a lot of difficulty watching gore films. So why did I sign up for it? Well, it's part of a month long series of workshop on specific storytelling genres and I thought what the hell - I'll take Horror.
Horror films are not life and death conflicts, they are life and fate worse than death. One of my stories (of the 5 I am currently working on) has the potential to utilize some aspects of the horror genre. How far do I want to do? Just use aspects of horror or go straight down to extreme and make my characters face a fate worse than death? (The real world inspiration story has a bit of horror in it. I imagine the victim, one of whom is still alive and living in Europe, considers her fate a fate worse than death. So I thought, let's just see how this horror genre works and see how far I want to go.)
It's reminded me how fun it is to really get out of your comfort zone. I honestly don't remember the last time I felt out of my comfort zone, because part of my comfort zone is doing/being uncomfortable. But today was beyond that. It was beyond the comfortable uncomfortablenss of my comfort zone.
Sitting there squirming in my chair, watching clips of movies I would never, ever watch (except for Cronenberg, I love Cronenberg) it dawned on me. I was learning something completely new. What was cool, is that it this new knowledge layers perfectly on top of what I already know. So it's a double whammy of supporting my talents and expertise while also being new skills, knowledge and pushing me outside a zone of comfort. It's been a long time since I felt that. It's very invigorating.
]]>Everyone has their own experience. Our bodies are similar but different. You don't even have the same knees on both sides, my left and right knees were different experiences. (The doc said, there is always an "easier" and "harder" knee - but you don't know which one it is until the second one.) My parents had knee replacements and their experience was different. Even Judi Dench had a knee replacement. It's becoming a totally normal thing.
The First One
My first TKR was really hard. It was my first surgery in 30 years, I had a stressful job (part time ED during difficult economic times), I knew there was going to be pain and recovery, but didn't really look into the details (because I did not want to). Part of what made the first one difficult was not understanding how my body might respond and how to address it. You're told to elevate and ice - and this is critical. But everyone has a different experience. I didn't realize what kind of impact the surgery would have on my calf and ankle until the day after when I saw the swelling and bruising. During my first TKR, my calf and ankle got very swollen and the swelling did not go down for six weeks, despite icing and elevating. I was later told by one of the PAs that the younger you are, the more possible swelling/pain you can have. (I guess you lose pain receptors as you get older.)
To help reduce the swelling the second time around, I elevated my leg for 85% of the day for the first week using a specific pillow to help elevate it. I kept my foot above my head/heart to make sure fluid did not get pooled in my leg and it worked. (TKR #1, I just elevated about 30% of the time.) Voila - very little swelling!
The second TKR was easier, but still not easy. The PT for my first recovery helped prep me for the second one. My legs were stronger so I walked sooner, but still struggled with bending my knee. I found the most bend gain after 6-10 weeks, once my soft tissue was healing. My first TKR barely got 120 degrees at 4 months post op, but 12 months later, I've got a good 130 degrees. I expect the same slow progress on bending the knee for #2. You do really need to give your body time to heal, reduce the swelling and inflammation and gently, consistently stretch.
Tips
(This is what worked for me, check with your doctor before trying these.)
OK, that's it for now. Here's a link to my Amazon Shopping list if you want a quick list of what worked for my recover.
Stay positive. I hope your surgery is uneventful, and you have a smooth recovery. Remember, the pain will fade with time and then you will be able to be more active and do the things you love. Get through the slog! And follow the doc's orders!
This is an annoying place to be in. I'm still dealing with the pain and recovery, I've made progress, but I'm unable to do even as much as I could before surgery. My default is to be active and do things. I gave myself permission to do nothing and just recover, but this is harder than I expected.
Because I also feel like I'm revisiting what I want to do with my life. Conscious Life Design. Create the who, I want to be. And that changes. That's the thing with living your dream life. There is an initial striving and the work to "get it" and then there is the living practice and changes that happen once you "have it."
I think so many people are starting from a place of not being happy with their life, that this initial journey to "find themselves" or "figure out what they want to do" or "achieve some dream" is a very straightforward (although often difficult) task. My book, How to Get Your Heart's Desire is a process I discovered for this. But I've gotten caught up a few times with, what to do after you have achieved what you want. Do you want to just keep achieving things - growth mindset - that is not necessarily sustainable. Is there a gratitude practice where you acknowledge and appreciate everything you have done? But you're not dead yet, so what is there to do?
For me, this is where I have become open to things I previously would not have considered. Like working for other people, when I got tired of entrepreneurship. In all things in life, it's about the people you are around. In a workplace, you don't necessarily have as much control over that. It's where you have to deal with the coin-operated self serving sales person. Or the on the rise career tech person who still believes in the promise of corporate ladder climbing. There's more insulation from those kinds of people when you have a entrepreneurial relationship and of course, the power balance is different.
In other news, the Oriels are back in the desert. Their yellow bodies and black heads flit around the palo verde trees, and they hang off the hummingbird feeders. We've also got a desert woodpecker sipping the sweet nectar along with our pack of hummingbirds. It's nice to have some warmer weather in the Mojave. Spring comes early here.
]]>Reviewing 2023, it was a year of 2s.
A few other things happened this year, I finished 3 more modules in this Buddhist course, I dealt with a water leak/insurance issue at the dome, and the Colorado house was not without it's issues. And then there was healing from being stabbed in the back, ruining my achievements at IDPro for exceeding our membership goals in terms of #s and $$s.
I drafted outlines/book proposals for several books and started working on them (before being sidetracked on all these home issues). It's not a bad year, despite a lot of challenges overcome.
I am looking forward to locking all this pain and drama into 2023, and start 2024 with renewed energy, positivity, creativity, and tenacity. I look forward to calm, relaxing days, at home with the dogs and my beloved Ron. No idea what the future will bring, but I am curious and relaxed to find out.
]]>Tenkan, one of the first things I learned, is the art of turning. Of deflecting, of blending, connecting with blending with something, and turning to face the same direction. A simple example is, you're standing face to face with a partner, holding their wrist with the hand of the same side of the body (e.g. left wrist, right hand). Tenkan is beautifully stepping forward turning to the side of your "opponent" so that you are now facing the direction they are facing. Rather than face the "attack" directly, you turn away-toward it. This works with a punch or strike, catching and blending with the force of the movement, you can even join in the force of the movement adding your own force to it. Like catching a strike, blending to join it, adding your own force (to often times pull your attacker off balance).
Tenkan is a graceful, non confrontational way of dealing with an attack.
Irimi is the art of entering. It's energetically stepping into the space. To be successful with Irimi, one must have the energetic embodiment needed for a successful Irimi. You must have already cultivated some personal power for your Irimi to have strength. Irimi is direct, confrontational, anticipating and potentially pre-empting an attack. You can combine Irimi with a Ki-ai sound, and it can be terrifying. Of course, your opponent can utilize a tenkan on an irimi, so it's important to be able to be grounded in your entering.
I love Irimi. I love the directness of it. The cutting through of bullshit. (Here I am talking about using Irimi off the mat.) Certainly not everyone appreciates a direct approach. And if one is not strong enough for the direct approach, they might have inconsistent results.
These two concepts are useful off the mat. While I tend to appreciate the direct approach, much of the world prefers a the turning approach. Both are useful in different situations, and one should practice them both.
]]>
Anyway, I digress, but I can do that on my blog. Let's get back to the nerve sensations in my knee. Pain is such an interesting thing. For me, I always thought of pain as this torn muscle pain, or cut finger bleeding pain. Or stub your toe or crush your finger pain. But then there is nerve pain. I've always struggled categorizing nerve pain as pain. It's not nothing, but it not like stubbing your toe, hot and red and a flash. Nerve pain is a sensation, and for someone who is highly sensitivity, too much sensation can be overwhelming, but it's not necessarily pain.
I had all these great names for the nerve pain last time, let's see if I can remember them. There was the lightening bolt flashes, like electricity scattering across the sky, a metaphor for my knee/leg area. There was this rolling, dull pain, that I compared to the rollingness of a rolling style earthquake. That rollingness like nausea, with the pain just present, maybe increasing in intensity, but a dull, soft cottony rolling pain.
Let's see, right now, I have a deep pain in my right leg coming from a particularily tight part of my side knee area. There are subtle soft sharp threads now and then. Yesterday there was this deep hot spicy pain, coming deep inside my knee. Almost like I couldn't feel it, or I felt it far away behind a red curtain, but yet, that hot spicy deeply red pain was there. (That's when I was doing PT!)
Earlier today I forgot for a split second I had had knee surgery and my body/legs tried to grab my pillow together and bring it up to myself, only to whack myself awake with a sharpe hot green-gray pain that reminded me that, yes, less than a week ago you had that leg opened up, hacked a bit off and jammed in some augmented pieces.
Yup, this leg's recovery is easier than the previous one, but that doesn't make it easy by any means.
You know what else is not easy. Trust. I keep seeing posts from my identity colleagues lamenting the loss of trust. And that's why they do all these identity solutions that are trust less. I think they are all on the wrong path. And I want to write some things around this, so I'm collecting my thoughts, but first off, trust can not be solved by technology. Lack of trust (and believe me, I have lot of trust issues) has to do with people. There are things you can do to regain that trust, but also, there's a blog post on here from the Heather/Gloria days, a walk with Moki on Mt Washington, that talks about trust is a choice.
You chose to trust someone. They stab you in the back and you get hurt, and you get angry. You don't trust those people or the system that created them. It's like this piece I've wanted to write for years, how the private sector has a lot to learn from government. Fucking selfish private sector.
I've got so many ideas to write, but who cares? The nihilistic and pointless point of view. Then let's bring in the contradictory view, The Chicken John quote, about living in the world you want to live in. What is the world I want to live in? And what can I do now to create a delusion of that reality now?
]]>I had reminded myself of my 2020 plan -- I had a war chest and some new entrepreneurial offers. But after a few months of the pandemic, and all those dreams (along with the lack of return phone calls) were shuttered. Two years of pandemic later and the entrepreneurial spirit in me was squeezed out. I wanted more structure, stability and to get paid for all the hidden things I do that is part of the job of being your own boss. So I got some clients. And my entrepreneurial projects ended went on the back burner.
You know what is interesting? These projects are coming off the back burner. It helps to have the space on the front burners too.
It's like I might be recovering from the pandemic interrupt. When I revisit these projects, they are still so fresh and relevant. And look at all this work I previously did on them. This gives me fresh energy for new projects too. For example, I banged out a first draft of a book proposal over the course of a few days. I don't know where these will go. For now, I am keeping myself busy, trying things out and paying it forward sharing what I know.
]]>It was beautiful, the snow on the pines, reverse outlining the thick bark, catching in clumps in the clusters of pine needles. It looked like something out of a photo or piece of art, but there I was naturally surrounded. Then the wind blew, and the needles and snow shimmered in the golden light. I remembered an observation of similar pines at a rest stop near June Lake off 395. The glimmering snow blown by the wind described something profound, difficult to communicate in words.
The mornings here are crisp, with the underlying dryness. Not that warm cool of Los Angeles with the hint of moisture. Not the cool mornings of the Mojave, with dryness, yes a delicate moistness that will evaporate in the next 20 minutes. This is a coolness, that you know will get cooler as the winter season progresses. The warmth comes from midday sun, that if I am lucky will warm the trees enough for their scent - their vanilla, cedar, spice aroma - to release.
On those first hot days in Fox Run, when I took Pebbles for walks, deep in the forest I would smell it. I presses my face against the bark to try to get a stronger whiff of the intoxicating smell, but it was no stronger. Elusive, yet surrounded.
Cool mornings here mean, fleece lined sweat shirts, flannel pants and slippers. Coffee - a latte - which I have learned to froth at 7000 feet. It's no small feat to get perfectly foamed foam here. Cool mornings mean letting the dogs out. Cool mornings mean the herd of deer relaxing in the back yard. Cool mornings are a moment for reflection before starting the day.
]]>Mr Dog helped transition me to living full time at the dome in fall is 2018. While I sold it to myself as a temporary writing sabbatical between paid contracts, I found the quietude and solitude helpful for my writing. For the first few months, I co-wrote with a well known name in the crypto space. It fizzled out, when I got tired of keeping us accountable. The work we did write together is pretty fantastic - if out of date. Maybe I will find a way to publish some of it.
Anyway Mr. Dog kept me company during this Los Angeles exit, and almost immediately fell ill and went on his definitive journey off into infinity or emptiness. There were some pretty magical moment there with the Golden Goddess and a red dog with white paws. That would have been classic writing material for this blog, maybe I'll revisit those stories, those desert roads, that golden light.
Life was interesting with no dog to ground me. I barely lasted a few months before I took on fostering for the same rescue org that Mr Dog came from. Fostering was a practice in detachment, care, compassion. I had three fosters - the last one failed. These fosters were so raw when they came to me. Shell shocked and traumatized. Often from the streets or a shelter or a bad situation. I took these fragile pups in, gave them love and structure before taking them to their forever homes. My last foster, Archibald, a blind dog with a real sob story, became a failure when I fell in love with him one night snuggling down while watching Game of Thrones over the holidays.
A year later, I wanted a friend for Archibald, so Shoogs came into our life, a month just after the pandemic lockdown happened. Pandemic lockdown was me, and these dogs on my small acreage on the Mojave-Colorado desert borders. It was great, being a hermit lady with two dogs, my best friends the planets that rose in the night sky. I had a war chest I had planned to use to launch my latest entrepreneurial endeavor, which ended up keeping me safe and secure through 2+ years of the pandemic. My pups barely lasted through the pandemic as well. They were both well in their prime when they came into my care, and Arch left me suddenly one morning.
Shoogs stayed on for another year or so, traveling cross country to the East Coast, and then up and down the West Coast, eventually succumbing to her ills in the desert. Like all three my dogs. Mr. Dog. Archibald. Shoogs. Their collars, their ashes, photos, drawings and paintings by my dear friend Liz, who even put the golden light around Mr. Dog.
Fast forward to today. Two more dogs! Pebbles came into our lives in June, after a break of a year or so. And right before all the puzzle pieces fell into place for our Colorado place. And I found Joey in the first week were were in our new home. He was being fostered in the weird, small, obscure town where I went to college. Believe me, you've never heard of it. It's not the first time I've had two dogs, but it's the first time I've had two younger, energetic dogs.
One thing about all these dogs, they are Boston Terriers. Mr. Dog was my first Boston Terrier. I didn't know the breed prior. It was a requirement of my partner at the time. Turns out, he wasn't wrong. The Boston Terrier is a perfect dog for me. I love their formal wear of a black and white tuxedo. They can be extremely intelligent. (I think Pebbles is the most intelligent one I've had), silly, loyal, energetic, snuggly, and chompy in the right ways IMO. They are strong, have strong jaws, have such personality, and a distinctive face. I've enjoyed the 7 bostons that I've fostered and rescued.
So now, I'm writing on the ole blog again. With different dogs.
]]>
You see, I was stabbed in the back. Betrayed. It wasn't the first time. And it won't take me 10 years to get over it this time.
For some reason, I was thinking of a European colleague who confused me when ignoring the fresh California artichokes, that I knew were her favorite, that I had just brought across the Atlantic for her. I didn't recognize her hate then. Her older sidekick, who couldn't be fired due to European law, so they parked her in this division I had just joined, when she point blank said to my face, "I didn't set out to sabotage you." 10 years later I recognize their jealousy, masked as hate. Things were stacked against me from the start, even more when I was taken to meet the CEO. No one else had been asked to meet him. It's not like I asked to meet him, either. I was being shown off. I would have preferred to be at Burning Man like I had planned to be, but I wanted to make an impact and I thought I might have a better chance if the CEO knew my name and face. It ended up not mattering. I should have declined and gone to Burning Man.
I know life isn't fair. But damn, do I wish the world knew what these people are really like. That they can't be trusted to do anything that won't benefit themselves. And they do not have the capacity to think outside their own self centered desires. And why do these self centered people, rise to such levels of leadership and power? I know, I know - capitalism. Luck being misinterpreted as having skills. As much as I love the power of capitalism, too much of it destroys the world. Because Adam Smith was wrong with his aspirational invisible hand.
(My bodhichitta course, hits me over and over the head from this perspective. The self cherishing, self centered, person, who is unable to think about others, consider others, or even see that they are connected and exist due to others. I am so over it. I was so over it years ago when I moved to my Mojave lair. But when I came back out into the world, it is it's exact same shitty self - worse in some ways.)
Recently, someone said to me, to IDK, guide me in understanding my latest back stabbing, that I had to expect that all my actions would be interpreted as self-serving, egotistical. This really disturbs me. Because it's not the way I work, or my motivation - at least not these past 10-15 years. I would rather not live than not live authentically. When you are willing to put your life in the line in that way, the world shifts. The motivation of everyday people falls away.
I am reminded of a strange question in a board call, asking how something I wanted to do impacted my bonus. I was so taken aback. It impacted my bonus 0%. In fact, by focusing on it, I took effort/time away from actions I would need to do to achieve my bonus. I should have realized then, that was the way that person saw the world. And she was incredulous that my actions had 0% - until others chimed in and we showed her evidence. What a poor pitiful person to be limited to such a small worldview. But I was focused on improving our bottom line, and solving problems I had inherited.
Yet, I resent being crammed into such a limited and incorrect world view.
But what can I do? Something like 99% of humanity has this worldview, so maybe my friend was correct in advising me to make these undeveloped, immature assumptions, assumptions. Does that mean I now have to think through how every action or word will be interpreted through these selfish colored glasses? Assuming that I will be judged incorrectly? Should I change to adapt to the incorrect judgement?
But that would be a step back. A shrinking of who I am. Of all the work I have done to become the person I am today. A key thing I learned from Cacophony, was to do what you wanted to do, create the world you wanted to experience, because that is the world you wanted to live in. Not because it would be successful. Not because anyone else wants to live in that world. Not because it is the world the last board I worked for wanted to live in. (No, they live in the world of corporate handcuffs, lacking real world leadership and whole lotta imposter syndrome, not to mention a lack of experience - which results in not knowing how to solve their problems and not listening/empowering anyone to solve them either.) Oh well, whatever, they will probably fail up, like those people always do.
I look for soothing in my systems thinking books and spiral dynamics tiers. It was my exposure to these concepts that facilitated my transcendence to Tier 2 thinking. Tier 2 being the second tier of spiral dynamics, of which systems thinking, integral thinking, tolerance and acceptance become the baseline for operating. I remember the feeling of coming home I had when I learned about these concepts. There were words, explanations of things that were so inherent, core to me, that I had never been able to express -- and everyone looked at me funny when I would try. According various numbers (which I think would be hard to actually calculate) there is like 1% of the population in Tier 2. I consider myself as being in that tier for at least some of the time.
So what's a Tier 2 leader like me, doing in Tier 1 organizations? Being fucking frustrated, I'll tell you.
Can a tier 2 leader even be successful with tier 1 bosses? (It's a struggle. And at some point, some Tier 1 leader with power will ax it.)
As I figure out what I want to do next, I wonder, what is even possible. I want to lead people out of Tier 1 thinking and into Tier 2 leadership. Ideally, practically applied. Maybe I just need to invoke Vaclav Havel again and dream of impossibilities.
]]>
Priorities feel they are shifting. My desire to be at tech conferences is fizzling. Part of this is the string of backstabbers I've held leadership roles with the past couple years. Who can I trust? After almost 30 years in the business, it finally dawned on me that I suck at politics. That is my fatal work flaw. But why do people accept such toxic behavior? Just last week I was talking to someone about a situation where a company bought another company and as soon as it legally went through fired the CEO who lead the org up to that point. No notice. Out the same day. Elon Musk style. I mean, what is it that makes someone think this kind of ruthless inhuman behavior is acceptable. That's not the world I want to live in. I'm definitely happy to not have to deal with some of the people in my previous situations - but what disappoints me, is there was so much more I could have done to help those orgs. And the people who stayed - let's just say they are not (IMO) delivering.
Which is the rub. People, companies, don't want excellence. They don't want to be efficient, or think things through or make the best decision for them to get what they want. They want to make their own decision, others perspective be damned. Toxic individualism. It's a thing I've been watching for some time now. This is one concept Asia has the benefit over the US - a collective world view.
So what is next? What do I want to do next?
I want to work with nice people, who have some level of self-awareness, want to make a positive impact, can consider and are not threatened by other potentially conflicting viewpoints, who are not full of themselves, whose motivation includes curiosity, openness, hard work, transparency, emotional maturity. It probably doesn't exist, but maybe I can dream it into.
]]>I've done a lot in cybersecurity the past 5 years. Written some books. Writing some more. Done some good work. Worked with some nice (and not so nice) people. You know, the older I get, the more I want to work with nice people, who are self-aware. I know it's a hard ask. Most everyone is figuring out how to get all the things they want in life - and many have no qualms about stepping on whomever they need to to get those things.
To make money with integrity and ethics is just adding another level of difficulty to surviving - because it seems near impossible to make a living in a way that doesn't impoverish others. So what to do? I tried the hermit life for a few years, but you know what, the "real world" with all its very human problems was exactly the same when I re-visited it.
Anyway, where do I go from here? The net is vast and infinite.
]]>It all started when I was asked to write a chapter for the Cyber Attack Survival Manual. This snowballed into becoming a co-author.
The Cyber Attack Survival Manual is a step-by-step guide to cyber defense. This book is mainly for everyday people, but security professions might learn one or two new things. My hacker genius colleague, Chris Rock (of DEF CON, How to overthrow a government fame) kindly says, “A must read for everyone from n00bs to experts, parents to pros.”
Around the time I was wrapping up that writing, a military project took a decidedly cybersecurity turn. The project focused on the military learning environment, but I needed context to show the new training technologies. Voila - the cybersecurity war game. And then, because I am a perfectionist when it comes to the details of my future scenarios, I thought about future OSs, SIEMs, vulnerabilities, attacks, and counterattacks. My obsession grew.
U.S. Army cyber security war game set in 2021. I created this video for the U.S. Army showing military training for a cybersecurity war game set in 2021. This project is what ignited my cybersecurity obsession...
A few months later, I was asked to submit a paper on "Security in 2038." I used this excuse to kick off research on The Future of Cybersecurity.
Co-authored (with Bob Blakley) of, Shifting Paradigms: Using Strategic Foresight to Plan for Security Evolution, for the New Security Paradigms Workshop. Our paper details over 20 new security paradigms and future scenarios.
I don't plan on stopping this obsession anytime soon. Want my cybersecurity research updates? Sign up for my non-spammy email list.
]]>
Third 10
Second 10
First 10
Out-Learn, Out-Think, Win
Out-Learn, Out-Think, Win—tells a story about how Defense personnel may learn in the future, using complex interconnected network-based technologies. One of the main characters in the film isn’t even human—it’s the distributed learning network. The filmmakers, from Purple Tornado, created a graphic user interface (GUI) to help show how the human characters interact with that system. In the story, Army Staff Sergeant Martina Reynolds uses various distributed learning tools to practice and assess her cyber-defense skills. The video opens with SSG Reynolds reading an ebook and then progresses through her conducting VR-based pre-training, and it finally culminates with an instructor-guided group training exercise. As the story unfolds, you can see how SSG Reynolds’ learning and development seamlessly blends across different systems, which are enabled by different instructional technologies and data-driven learning capabilities.
This video is a deliverable from a larger project, called Transmedia Narrative Use Cases of Future Learning Systems That was completed for the Advanced Distributed Learning CoLab.
]]>