dumb dumb

sometimes I feel so dumb. I make a move and only later do I feel the full force of the pain, hurt. why didn't I see that before? why didn't I think about it that way? am I really such a flightly emotional person? what about sobriety? sustainability? consistency? did what I want change? was I faking it?

but then I remember why I act the way I do. I am moved to act. Acquiescening is ACTing. I see something that's a further step in the direction I want to take. I bring pain and destruction in these steps. Because plans and ideas and emotions are destroyed. And in the destruction understanding, enlightenment and seeds of new are sowed.

Awareness, Clarity, Intention, Direction, Focus, Acquiescence.