demoralized

There's nothing more demoralizing than finding out some idiot at work has been promoted. So much for my work ethic and attempting to do novel and innovative stuff. No, I get to convince a bunch of super Conservative old men to change a few fucking pixels. Argh. Business is a man's world, and they should all be shot.

--/more Tuesday morning 7.08am\--

The thing the bothers me the most about this, is that the company I work for promoted this clueless mba type. That says more to me about the company I work for. The complete difficulty for women to be promoted and recognized. It's not just the men who are hard on women. Women are the worst critics of each other in work. (I realized this through my own self-observation after reading a HBR article.) It's another boys club. This says to me, there is no long term possibility for my success there. In actuality my short term success has been practically nothing because of their failure prone corporate structure. Some things are impossible regardless of the person.

I knew that, but seeing it again makes it difficult for me to endure the short time I must before moving on. I was hoping there was some possibility of stability, but it seems my stability is within myself only.  So I intend a new possibility. A path without topanga canyon boulders of obstacles, with amazingly smart people, who are fun, have a good time, work hard, work smart, have interesting lives - and change people's lives - not just figure out how to sell more crap or send opt-in "spam" to more people or coerce people to give personal information to sell to third parties all while copying the competition because they are clueless and can't come up with an original thought process or rise to a challenge. Lifestyle company indeed.

I want to kick ass. I want to be in a place where my wings are not clipped. Where I thrive, where it doesn't matter how my passion comes out. There are too many dead walkers in the world. I am not one of them, nor can I fake it.

I live in the Future, not in Hades.