I am in control

I know that just by typing up this post, my life will go into a completely unbeknownst to me direction, but I type it none-the-less. The past few days and weeks I've had this feeling of ... I don't know... complete control over my life. That I am living exactly the life I dreamt of. And yet, I am not in control. And yet, I am in control. I don't know every little thing that will happen. Nor am I necessarily upset by things happening in life. Perhaps it's because I know I can change my perspective or attitude and be fine with various situations. But it's also because of a new view based on my experience with my Grandmother's death. Everything in my life pales to that experience. Because of seeing death, I know that I can accomplish anything I could possibly want in my life. There is a series of steps and there you go. You do it. You align your self, your attitudes, your power, your energy and (like Nike has trademarked) Just. Do. It.

This is a liberating feeling. I look at the goals for this year and how I am on track with them. Then I think about the biggest challenge I currently face. Getting my company funded. (A big secret I don't really talk about on the blog.) But even that is doable and I will succeed. So what next. What huge big goals can I put in front of me like a carrot for the adventure that is my life. It took a mere walk in the woods on Mt Wilson yesterday to solve that problem. To allow my mind to dream really really big. Of course I have dreams of property and building houses and community and being an artist in a warehouse in Tuscan. And all those things used to be pie in the sky dreams. However now, I can see the direct path to making them my reality. A very clear, yet twisted, tangled, turned back upon itself path, but a clear one none-the-less.

So beyond that. What can I dream? Walking around Mt Wilson, I dreamt of a desert mountain with a dome, hammocks and telescope. How cool would that be? What about a scientific discovery that would change the course of humanity or science or the way we see our world? Now, that's a worthy lofty goal. A challenge to change the world scientifically in a significant way. So there dear world. That's the new challenge for Heather's adventure of life. Not one that I will start on anytime soon, but a kernel in the back of my head to percolate and gather energy, as I pay attention to the world in which I walk.