being #2

I really shouldn't blog about this, but it's on my mind. When you're #2 behind the x-gf, it's sometimes hard to take the relationship seriously. It is good to practice detachment. Am I really going to give it my all if I know the guy is not totally available? Then again maybe I shouldn't ask questions like "If "X" would take you back, would you?" or "What is the thing that you don't want me to know?" I want to know the answers, because I want to know what kind of playing field I'm working with. Still...